1. Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.
2. I've had cancer. It's not all bad, you get free biscuits.
3. My nana died of arse cancer and I have a high chance of contracting it. Not just because of our genetic predisposition but because I have enjoyed a lot of anal sex with uncircumsised men.
4a. I'm a comedian.
4b. I'm me.
5. More damage is caused by taking offence than giving it.
6. "It's a comedian's job to know where the line is and cross it"- George Carlin. So a couple of people are offended by one of my tweets? I'm offended by Packed to The Rafters and the gender balance on the ABC. You don't see me calling the wahmbulance.
7. Who hasn't used colourful language to describe someone they think is Satan?
8. Who cares? It's just words. And I do not have the power to give a person arse cancer through a tweet. Yet.
9.'I hope you get arse cancer' is a traditional Irish greeting. "Tá súil agam go bhfaighidh tú ailse asal" is often exclaimed as a child is baptised or as a coffin is lowered into the ground.
10. You bored, envious, petty, panty-elasticated wowsers, haters, hypocrites and prudes. No one cares except you and your sad tragic mates in the relevance deprivation cess pool. Go fuck yourselves. Love Dev xxxx