COLUMNS

COLUMNS

  • anzac_feature
    ANZAC Day 2016 Monday, April 25th, 2016
    Anzac day makes me physically ill. Always has. Nausea. Anger. Headache. Sadness. Confusion. When I was young I didn’t understand what this volcanic feeling of about to explode was. I’m so glad more people are seeing Anzac for what it is, what it’s always been. And so relieved people are saying it. Branzac. I don’t understand why people kicking ...
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  • bathers_feature
    Insurance Is A Health Hazard Friday, April 1st, 2016
    Insurance is a health hazard. I’m deeply opposed to insurance (apart from  home and car). Life insurance, health insurance, disability insurance, income protection insurance… the list is endless. The culture of insurance quashes people’s innovation, resilience, creativity and self-reliance. It gives people an illusion of safety and certainty. It stops people thinking.  And risk taking. It stops people living ...
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  • Z
    Love Party Day. No God. No Government. No Marriage. Just Love. Wednesday, March 16th, 2016
    On March 6th 2016  Sparkle and Bear (Catherine Deveny and Anthony Artmann) had a Love Party,  a wedding with no god and no government. We were in love when we were 18 (1987) and fell back in love 23 years later in 2010. Bride? Groom? Wedding? Yes. Wife? Husband? Marriage? No. I was a 90 kilo, 47 year old bride in ...
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  • 9k=-1
    Love Party. Wedding yes. Marriage no.   Thursday, March 3rd, 2016
    I have this cleaner called Sandra. She’s been our cleaner for 20 years. She’s the only person I am terrified of. And I am really fucking terrified of her. If you live in Brunswick you know Sandra. Everyone knows Sandra. And everyone is terrified of her. She thinks the answer to every question is bleach, ...
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  • 2Q==
    Love Party. An intro… Friday, January 22nd, 2016
    ‘Can you make a certificate for us Jen?’ ‘What, like a wedding certificate?’ ‘Yeah, exactly. But a Love Party certificate. And can you make a little thank you card for the bonbonniere? Heart shaped or something. To tie around it.’ ‘Wow! So you’re really going the whole wedding thing?’ ‘Totally! I’m wearing a veil, we’re having a garden ceremony ...
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  • 9k=
    Australian Citizenship Test Wednesday, January 20th, 2016
    You can shove your citizenship test up your poxy date. No one has the right to decide what being Australian is. I was born here and I have no idea. But I do know what it isn’t, and what being Australian isn’t is testing people on what they know about some white pen-pusher’s idea of ...
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  • Jesus_feature
    ISRAEL Upper Gallilee. Woman identified as ‘Mary’ claims her son Jesus Christ is The Son Of God™. Thursday, December 24th, 2015
    ISRAEL Upper Gallilee.  A woman identifying herself simply as ‘Mary’  claims her nine-year-old son Jesus Christ is The Son Of God™.  The 28-year-old mother alleges she was a virgin when she gave birth and conceived via ”impregnation of The Holy Spirit”.   According to ‘Mary’, and her son’s followers who refer to themselves as ‘Christians’, her son performs miracles and ...
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  • 2Q==
    Today is my youngest son’s last day at primary school. Thursday, December 17th, 2015
    Today is my youngest son’s last day at primary school. I wrote about the day he started primary school way back then so I thought it only fitting to book end it with another piece. A glittering day. ‘Why are you riding with me today Mum? You haven’t ridden to school with me for years.’ ‘Because it’s significant. ...
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  • Office-christmas-party_feature
    Office Christmas Party Tips Tuesday, December 8th, 2015
    Tonight is my work office Christmas party and seeing as though I’m my own boss I’m going to tell myself to get fucked, photocopy my arse and leave it on my own desk and wake up in my own bed screaming ‘I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS! The office Christmas party is officially an opportunity to boost ...
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  • carols_feature
    Christmas Eve. Carols by Candlelight. Mum’s chucking a wobbly Friday, December 4th, 2015
    Deck the halls with aggro and folly.When mum’s in meltdown, ’tis the season to tune into candlelit soapie karaoke….. T’WAS THE NIGHT before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because mum was chucking her annual Christmas Eve spastic. “You lazy, useless, selfish kids. Oh no, don’t ...
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