Cooking is like shagging – Emma Dean

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer.

Cooking (and eating) is like shagging, you are going to be doing it for the rest of your life so you might as well get comfortable with it and do it ‘well’.

Construct that novelty cake, well

Have a fancy high tea, and do it well

Cook that damn roast, well

Make that bloody pav, well.

And the meaning of ‘well’, well for me, means jumping in and having a go, because you are doing it SO MUCH BETTER than those who are not doing anything. So many people are paralysed by expectation, that they don’t even have a go and do something, take something, bake something, make something.

Cooking that novelty cake to look like a pirate ship, and the end result is a massive pile of chocolate with some tiny teddies holding each other hostage? That’s done pretty damn ‘well’. Done even more well if you get some kids to help you and they have a most awesome time with their tiny teddy hostages!

Having that party that starts off as a high tea and end in margaritas and nachos? I reckon that’s a high tea gone pretty darn ‘well’. Done even more well if you pull a pulled pork out of the oven at 4am! Way to keep a party going!

That roast chicken that you did on the BBQ rotisserie that got a bit, how would you say…’burnished’?  Stuff some butter under that skin with a bit of tarragon, and season, season, season…Yup – done well!

That pav that had a massive crack which you filled with cream and dumped a whole lot of strawberries and passion fruit pulp around to look ‘restaurant ready’? Use free-range eggs and you got it! Done well!

Chip salad? Salt and vinegar crinkle cut, twisties, and burger rings artfully tossed together? I learnt about this phenomenon today and I reckon its genius! Make it the best bloody chip salad EVER and put it in a nice bowl – presentation is everything – and yup – done well!!

Make your kitchen, the little kitchen that could. Chuck out anything that annoys you, make your space pleasant to be in. Learn the basics – get 5 dishes that that you are really good at. This could be the awesome toasted cheese sandwich that you can bang out the morning after the night before with your eyes closed or a butter poached sous-vide fish! Just own it!

Remember, you are doing this for the rest of your life, and like shagging, it’s best you do it well, whatever that may be.

Twit Insta Facey @emmadeancooks www.emmadean.com.au

 

 

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