The Pitch – Jane Kiddell

Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS writer.

“I can’t believe how stupid some people can be and that I let them make me lose confidence in myself – pass the M&Ms.”  – Noelle

“He just presented my training plan to the committee as his own work, but he stuffed up the theory and called it the 70:30:10 model – he wrote it on the slide and everything – AND NO ONE NOTICED…”  – Eliza

“We’ve just sat in a strategy meeting with five IT professionals for over an hour.  No agenda, no actions, just an ego-fest of technical jargon one-upmanship.  One of them actually said to solve the problem we’d have to “eat the elephant, one bite at a time.”  Every time we tried to ask a question or get back on track we were talked down.” – Noelle

 “At the end of the hour the blokes had “squeezed the lemon dry” and were high-fiving themselves over how well they were taking carriage of the situation on the way to the coffee shop.  Everything relevant to the purpose of the meeting had been taken off-line and parked in the car park before needing to be added to the swim lane on the PMO wall by the overworked project co-ordinator.” Eliza

This has been a standard day for Noelle and Eliza – EVERY DAY FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS.   Their collegial friendship is made invincible by daily venting and the number of  “Oh Fuck Off’s” they have incredulously shared.

Together their work is spectacular.  Creative, detailed, and awesome. But has anyone actually noticed? Can they survive another restructure and a manager who bans talking in the workplace?  Why can’t they leave?

Solutioning.  A TV comedy. Such diabolical bad behaviour in the workplace, it’s laughable.

 

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