COLUMNS

COLUMNS

  • 9k=
    Australian Citizenship Test Tuesday, January 26th, 2016
    You can shove your citizenship test up your poxy date. No one has the right to decide what being Australian is. I was born here and I have no idea. But I do know what it isn’t, and what being Australian isn’t is testing people on what they know about some white pen-pusher’s idea of ...
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  • 2Q==
    Love Party. An intro… Friday, January 22nd, 2016
    ‘Can you make a certificate for us Jen?’ ‘What, like a wedding certificate?’ ‘Yeah, exactly. But a Love Party certificate. And can you make a little thank you card for the bonbonniere? Heart shaped or something. To tie around it.’ ‘Wow! So you’re really going the whole wedding thing?’ ‘Totally! I’m wearing a veil, we’re having a garden ceremony ...
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  • Jesus_feature
    ISRAEL Upper Gallilee. Woman identified as ‘Mary’ claims her son Jesus Christ is The Son Of God™. Thursday, December 24th, 2015
    ISRAEL Upper Gallilee.  A woman identifying herself simply as ‘Mary’  claims her nine-year-old son Jesus Christ is The Son Of God™.  The 28-year-old mother alleges she was a virgin when she gave birth and conceived via ”impregnation of The Holy Spirit”.   According to ‘Mary’, and her son’s followers who refer to themselves as ‘Christians’, her son performs miracles and ...
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  • 2Q==
    Today is my youngest son’s last day at primary school. Thursday, December 17th, 2015
    Today is my youngest son’s last day at primary school. I wrote about the day he started primary school way back then so I thought it only fitting to book end it with another piece. A glittering day. ‘Why are you riding with me today Mum? You haven’t ridden to school with me for years.’ ‘Because it’s significant. ...
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  • Office-christmas-party_feature
    Office Christmas Party Tips Tuesday, December 8th, 2015
    Tonight is my work office Christmas party and seeing as though I’m my own boss I’m going to tell myself to get fucked, photocopy my arse and leave it on my own desk and wake up in my own bed screaming ‘I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS! The office Christmas party is officially an opportunity to boost ...
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  • carols_feature
    Christmas Eve. Carols by Candlelight. Mum’s chucking a wobbly Friday, December 4th, 2015
    Deck the halls with aggro and folly.When mum’s in meltdown, ’tis the season to tune into candlelit soapie karaoke….. T’WAS THE NIGHT before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because mum was chucking her annual Christmas Eve spastic. “You lazy, useless, selfish kids. Oh no, don’t ...
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  • christmaspresents_feature
    Christmas Shopping tips from Dev. You’re welcome. Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015
    I hate Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my friends and family (individual results may vary), am delighted to cook for them or buy them things they need or desire and a simple glance at my reader’s physique will assure you I love to eat. It’s just the obligation and expectation that annoys me. I ...
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  • 9k=
    Not changing your name when you marry? Stop acting like a feminist hero. Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
    ARGH! Stop wanting to be hailed as  some kind of feminist hero and pioneer for NOT CHANGING YOUR NAME WHEN YOU MARRY. Wow! What a rebel. Fuck that. Want to make a real difference? Don’t. Fucking. Marry. And if you have children don’t give them the father’s surname.  Two articles I read by women bravely not changing ...
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  • Z
    On being ten years old, our love party and macrame owls. Sunday, October 18th, 2015
    When I was ten years old things were dire. The car had been repossessed, the water was down to drip, and things were missing, broken, dirty and old. I would collect the mail from the mailbox and if there was a ‘letter with a window’ I’d know it was a bill and when mum and ...
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  • 9k=
    Sorry. I’m just not sorry. For anything. Friday, October 9th, 2015
    Sorry. I'm just not sorry. For anything.
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