COLUMNS

COLUMNS

  • weird-christmas_feature
    A Christmas column. To say I love you. Saturday, December 20th, 2014
    Just stop it okay? Listen to me. Christmas is fine as long as you take the position that it’s going to be shit. The motto should be Christmas! The perfect time to spend with family. Just not your own family. And that’s the true beauty of Christmas. Be warm in the knowledge that as much as ...
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  • mango_feature
    50 Shades Of Mango Saturday, December 13th, 2014
    OH MY GOD! Did you hear that? It’s mango season o’clock! I know. Shake out the sarong, grab those cheap and cheerful sunglasses and slap on your holiday hat! Golden fever has arrived! Hallelujah! Bright, sunny, yellowy, silky, luscious goodness. It’s enough to make an atheist like me feel as if there really is a god. Intelligent design? Mangos are exotic pleasure incarnate. ...
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  • Office-christmas-party_feature
    Office Christmas Party Tips Friday, December 12th, 2014
    Tonight is my work office Christmas party and seeing as though I’m my own boss I’m going to tell myself to get fucked, photocopy my arse and leave it on my own desk and wake up in my own bed screaming ‘I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS! The office Christmas party is officially an opportunity to boost ...
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  • images
    Chadstone. No one gets out alive. Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014
    Chadstone is the largest shrine to Mammon in Australia. So I went to find out whether the population of Australia (the amount of people who visit each year) could be wrong. They are. Or I am. You choose. Chadstone is a metastasised tumour of offensive proportions that’s easy to find. You simply follow the line of dead-eyed ...
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  • christmaspresents_feature
    Christmas Shopping tips from Dev. You’re welcome. Monday, December 1st, 2014
    I hate Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my friends and family (individual results may vary), am delighted to cook for them or buy them things they need or desire and a simple glance at my reader’s physique will assure you I love to eat. It’s just the obligation and expectation that annoys me. I ...
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  • inezde_feature
    Bed Therapy Inez de Vega – an essay. Thursday, November 27th, 2014
    An essay I wrote on working in the city for Bed Therapy, Georges Mora Fellow Inez de Vega’s remarkable ACCA art installation. Why erect a warm, cosy bed in a shipping container where a total stranger can unload their fears, hopes and troubles to another total stranger? Why create a bubble of calm and connection, a soft ...
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  • funeral_feature
    Eulogy For A Bad Father Thursday, November 20th, 2014
    My partner and I both had toxic, abusive fathers. We were in love when we were 18 and became smug retrosexuals four years ago. Two days before we reunited four years ago his dad died.  “Dad died on Tuesday” was one of the first things he said. “Good” I replied. The speech he made at his father’s funeral made ...
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  • GirlsFuckOff_CatherineDeveny
    Teenage girls should be encouraged to say fuck, learn how to fuck themselves and achieve Fuck Off Status. Friday, November 14th, 2014
    Teenage girls should be encouraged to swear. No one is forcing them to but encourage them to swear if they want to. The worst thing you can encourage girls to be is nice and the second is pretty. The idea swearing is ‘wrong’ or ‘nice’ indicates there’s a universal agreement on the definitions of ‘wrong’ and ‘nice’ ...
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  • feminist_feature
    Feminism in Twelve Easy Lessons Friday, November 14th, 2014
    LESSON NUMBER ONE Beware of anyone using the words ‘respect’, ‘traditional’, ‘family values’, ‘honour’, ‘unacceptable’, ‘morality’, ‘uncalled for’, ‘inappropriate’, ‘unnecessary’ or ‘offensive’. Particularly beware of the word offensive. It’s code for ‘Pipe down princess, back in your box’. Offence is taken not given and more harm is created by taking offence than giving it. Offence is subjective. Just because you are ...
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  • keep-going-quote_feature
    Just Keep Going. A tribute to everyday heroes. Sunday, November 2nd, 2014
    Let’s give a cheer to those who are the embodiment of the human spirit. Every morning I sit on the front deck and drink my coffee, watching people propelling themselves through life. And I’m in awe of how people can keep going. What a wonder the human spirit is. I watch office workers, jolted out of their ...
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