Another brilliant piece from a GUNNAS WRITING MASTERCLASS WRITER.
(A snapshot of something much bigger, to come sometime in the next twelve months.)
The Cancer has shown me that I am loved. It has shown me the pure, unconditional love that my family and friends have for me. It has shown me that there are quite a few people who would be really pissed if something happened to me, how great is that to actually know, not to think or to hope but to actually know!
Love has come in the form of swearing when told the news about “The Cancer”, my favourite swear words flying from one mouth, another swearing in the middle of the shops when she never swears at all. It has come in the form of swearing when I have given people no permission but to be positive – you can bugger off if you are going to be miserable about this.
This is my thing; I choose how we deal with it. Thinking back that is the most powerful part of this last year. I decided right from the start how it would be dealt with … okay I have news, I don’t want to hear any miserable carry on about it, I’m lucky it has been found and it can be treated, it is going to be taken out, treatment done and we can get on with our lives. I’m certain that’s why I called it “The Cancer” taking it outside myself and who I was, that was my way of dealing with it.
One friend kept having to remind me that I was actually sick, I would say something about not feeling up to doing something or being exhausted and not knowing why – he would roll his eyes and say, “Ummm you’re sick, remember?!” And you know what, I didn’t remember, not until I was reminded, I had already decided I was going to just get on with what was required and then piss off back to my life.
The Cancer has taught me that I do actually need to put my health first, I am a dopey cow as it did take getting “The Cancer” to realize that should be number one on the priority list. So now comes the after “The Cancer” thing of reflecting on what I have learnt and what I need to change.
Going to Gunnas Writing was part of that, helping me to get back to my blog (purplesus.wordpress.com) and writing for the love of it, writing to get stuff out, writing observations, taking ideas and making them into something, writing, writing, writing. So I have three projects – What has “The Cancer” shown me is one of them – can’t wait to get started and see where my writing takes me!